2 years 3 months……..

2 years 3 months……..

Hey you!   How's going? Me?  Well, Not so bad, not so good either.  I know It has been long time that I have not updated my blog at all.  No excuses, I always come up with something not to write my blog.  Recently things happened a lot.  Happy-Fun-Bad-Sad…. not sure myself.  So i decided try to come back and writing my blog again, to occupy my time with something good.  Basically, I don't know what do I really wanna do in my life.   Sounds sad aye?  But I guess that beside working, with boring life in Dubai, I need something to do which is beneficial for myself.  WHICH i don't know what yet.  But I need to start somewhere.

  

Am I saying Life in Dubai boring?…..  Well after 2 years I'd say "yes".   May be other thousands crew (who share common life style) would say differently.  So don't let me judge it.  People has different their stories behind. People has different purposes.  People has different they way of living.  It all depends where and how to put yourself in the position to live in Dubai.  Believe me, some people has been living in Dubai more than 5 years, they are still searching what do they want to do.  Or they thought that they have settled, but then their friends were leaving one by one.  Of course, You gonna find new friends, all over again.  Well, Let's not talking about other people. 

For me: My life in Dubai had been fun during almost 2 years.  What had I done?  Honestly?…..  Every time I was in Dubai, I just went out, drinking, party, getting to know people in party,  getting drunk-getting drama with friends or to the one you love, then went to sleep, woke up with hang over and sometimes regret what I did a night before.  Calculated how much i spent and felt bad about it.  Then try to get recover from hang over, and promised myself that I won't go out, get drunk, spent too much money and suffering in the next day.   THEN NOW……..Sun is setting……..Sky is getting dark…… Checking Facebook see people posted that they will going out again- Got messages from friends to drink.  Got invited for pre-out party…. Then thing start all over again. . . . . Pre drinks where?  What to dress tonight?  Where to go tonight?  Whom will we do party with?  Do we have enough alcohol? then Where is after party?….


I looked back and said to myself,  I spent too much money and time on this.    Friends whom i spent time with almost 2 years,  I barely can talk about my personal life, or personal problems with.  All is about "Parties".   That made me sad.   I hardly have a proper dinner, having wine-talking or discuss on something else, But parties.  I never gone out during a day with them, movie? beach? day time activities? going some where for lunch?….. forget it. 


Now I kind of rejected myself from this circle of life.  I feel that I can do better.  But still recently I don't find what.  I had been trying to find something interesting to do from magazine, internet, etc…  But I still don't find anything yet.  Plus something personal happened to me (which I will mention on the next chapter).  Made me feeling down.  Guess what?  I don't know whom can i talk to, old party lads wouldn't get it into their attentions.  Recently, I have been trying to making new friends, but it's not easy.  And even though I can make some new friends, it's not that you just go to them and throw what you have personal issue in mind.   And also, the life style… Im here, he/ she 's flying.  He/she is here, Im away.   Life is not easy here in Dubai, as we don't have normal routine. My boyfriend??…….  I'd rather not to say at this stage….. Nothing bad happened, we are still good to each other.  He is always there for me when i need him.  We are still working on this relationship.    But…..  ……… ……. ANYWAY...



So My life recently has been boring.  I stay home, sleep a lot, watch Movies, go shopping glossary for my meals, planing what to cook and eat.  Making laundry, cleaning apartment, checking Facebook, watching something stupid on youtube and getting enough sleep for work.  I spend time mostly with myself… myself… and myself……  From a social party boy-becoming a quiet person in Dubai…. I guess something must be wrong with me. :(        However, sometimes If i get a chance on lay over, I will go out. its more exciting for me.  Like i went out in Munich, twice in Paris.  They were not so bad. At least I saw something different, and spending only my layover allowance, not to effect to my salary, and get back to a good hotel bed.   However, I couldn't have much fun, I had to control because had to work in the next day.   And I hate to be dead tired when I'm working.  It's frustrating.  
Well, In the conclusion… I have been alone, down, confused, up-down, bored, don't know what I wanna do in life, still finding-searching the way.   And now at least I push myself to writing a blog.  It is kind of a letter to myself, talking to myself, reminding myself what I want, explaining myself to myself to see a picture of myself.  BUT I believe that at least I let something inside of myself out.   Im thinking to get some lesson of learning Saxophone…. or Dancing Salsa… and also trying to push myself to study Japanese&Spanish, not to forget.   I guess, I gonna start with something easy first.   See, when I am busy with schedule-myself.  What can i do next?  May be I get better?  May be I know what I want in life?  Well, we'll see.

My life's time also has gone by dealing with "JETLAG".   Beside, my boring life style that i mentioned above.   3-4times already after flights, I came back/ I slept…. Got up in the late afternoon - cooked/eat lunch (no breakfast) - unpack my suitcase, make my laundry, checked emails, Facebook.  Then it turns to be in the evening…   now I went to buy something to cook for dinner then eat, watch movie… And THEN have to go back to sleep again!!!!   LIKE: woke up -> eat -> -2-3hrs later ->buy to cook/and eat again -> then back to sleep.  I try to retain my body clock for the next flight duty, even though I don't have a flight in the next day. Sounds confused?…..Ok,  For example, Sunday 1-2am back from flight….=>sleep till evening as my body needs the rest =>get up, spend the evening then try to sleep again at night, to keep my body to be able to sleep during a night.  Monday wake up in the morning, then Monday night sleep (now I can sleep better because I pushed my body to sleep at night, one day before). And Tuesday's flight in the morning.   



Last night I just went to sleep since 1am and now I am wild awake at 9am!! I woke up since 8am, slept 6hrs.  And I will gonna go to work for London flight at 1pm.  Still have time, but I cannot go to sleep anymore :(   I will be definitely dead tired after the flight.  But good thing is; so i can get some sleep straight away after the flight.  I will wake up early in London for my Breakfast-then go to gym-swiming a bit. For the past 3 months I have my back pain, now I got my shoulder pain (getting old).  And then after, perhaps checking-doing something stupid online, watching Glee, download some more movies--take it easy…..  Then get some lunch then sleep for wake up call in the evening to work back to Dubai for a night flight.  Right after I have about 3 days off.   Was planing to go to visit my boyfriend in Madrid.  But….. …… ……  no, I will stay in Dubai.  And be with myself, and taking things easy for myself.   So I perhaps will come back to update my blog again during those days off.    Thanks for reading my shit till now :)   Thank you.     If you have any comments please leave it below, please feel free….    If you wanna add me on Facebook, please give me a message that you are following my blog.   Otherwise I wouldn't know how do you get to my Facebook .    Once again, thank you for reading it.  Now you kind of allow me to cut my chest out.  Thank you.